change won't kill you

i heard someone say this frays there's some thing's you just can't change and do you know what that's a load of bull of coarse you can't change the weather but when it comes to friends and relationship's and whats ever else that's not true of coarse thing's can change the only reason's it won't is because you don't want it to or it makes you unconfrtable when it does or you don't like it when things change if any of you fall into these categories then something happened to you to makes you thing that or your parents tot you that thing can't change which they are wrong and if you want things to change then it your choice to change it you always have a choice to change it and if you think you don't have a choice then you need help to help you so you know that you do. i hate that frays those who say it need a wake up call. And of coarse there are something you can't change but that's only 10% of 100% well maybe higher like 20% or 30% but its not really high. if you say this frays to get out of something then your a idiot. change won't kill you   

just a little happiness would be fine

it honestly feels like my friends think that i'm a stranger because i haven't hand a visit or heard from any of my friend for months some of them for years whats up am i not whrth visiting am i not whrth a hi or a hello or a how are you am i not your friend to as much as your other friends don't i get a little bit of happiness i love yo'll but a just can't handle such sadless and wishing that one of my best friend would nok on my door to say hi how are you today so all i have to say is that i have anuf ok thats all

chan + beauty = wow

OK Chanel is beautiful it is maddening like honestly i feel like hitting my Head against the wall it that maddening I'm not saying it a bad thing its just i never thought that i would think that about her ever. OK this is the thing i see photo's of Maddy,SAM,Megan,Gina i do think how beautiful they are it's just when i see Chanel in photo's i see that little brown haired girl with a beautiful smile and sparkling eye's. and who is now a beautiful young women who is very well educated who still has that beautiful smile beautiful brown hair and those sparkling brown eye's. i called her ones she sounded different but it sounded very sweet and beautiful. i had so many question to ask but i was to nerves to ask but hearing her vice was a breath of fresh air. she seamed happy to hear from my after all that time. oh just to see her would be a blessing. how beautiful she is :);).      

True friends

OK so i just heard this from a friend of mine her name is Marisa Bevan's Atwood and she said this

 True friends r the ones that u may not have heard from n a day, wk, month, yr, or a decade, u can pick up right where u left off & know they r still there 4 u! I love my true friends!! 

so true and i try my best to follow the way of the true friend. and i don't like it  when a friend  isn't a true friend and they say that they are.

the old school

OK so i found my second first grad class photo I'll show them to you so you can see how i went to school with it mite surprise you who's on it or it mite not who know and this is a copy of it

other list other year

OK time to make other list for this years but let's see if i can do some of them time will tell haha well lets start I've got work soon so i have not that much time. anyway here we go
 (1) try to get my license
 (2) try to get my own sweet camera 
 (3) try to vist friends who live in canada
 (4) try to vist chanel and maddy and their family. this one is always on my list :)
 (5) try to have another birthday party
 (6) go to devon's wedding. here's hoping she or he doesn't get cold feet like the last time
 (7) try to convinc chanel and maddy to go to waterton with me. well if i get my license and the money to go and them thats if they want to go with me that is
(8) have a big camping trip to waterton with my friends and their friends wouldn't be fair to not invite them too.
well here's the list i can probably do all of them in a year. we will see what happens. well anyways chow for now

i don't know yet

well today was the same old thing got up did my paper route got home checked my facebook checked my Emails and checked blogger to see whats happening. This is mostly what my day is like and trying to get Chanel to talk to me again. why am i trying so hard to get her to talk to me again. see this is the thing most of my memories are of Chanel  and a little memory of Maddy and other friends but mostly Chanel. i ask myself why. why am i thinking only about her why do i need to try so hard to talk to her and to get her to notes me and stuff. why is she so important i know shes like a sister to me that's true. i started to have dreams about her a year after we moved to Raymond now the dreams are more freq went now not every month more like every few month's. maybe it will freak her out to know that i dream about her it probably would. it would probably make her uncomfortable to hear that. but probably people who red my blogs probably ask themselves is he in love with her or something and the thing is i don't really know it thought kinda scars me. the whole what if doesn't love me back what if are friendship gets totally destroyed because of it  what she hates me oh I'm so confused. i honestly love her to much to not let are friendship go but i need to think on the other love part because i still don't know. the only thing i hop won't happen is that this blog won't scare chanel off for good thats all

good year

well this year or last year it the forth of January.It wasn't haft bad Devon went to New York city or close to there to visit his girlfriend for Christmas and new years. I of Coors stead home for Christmas but before that i went with Megan and Gina to a movie called jack and Jill it was a Weird show but fun Megan toke me home after. Gina came for the ride she was on the phone with her mom in the back seat. anyway it was fun being with them. and there was also Ryan's home coming which was great we spent the whole day talking about star wars Ryan talk about going back to school which he already is him and me remotest about well friendship and that time when he told my a secret and i told and he got really pist at me but when we talked about that day we laugh. well he is well my best friends. Megan,Gina and Ryan are the best of the best. here comes the new year i hope chanel and maddy well talk to me again and start a new friendship heres hoping. nothing beats friends or as i call them family. nothing but love for ya peace hahaha