i don't know yet

well today was the same old thing got up did my paper route got home checked my facebook checked my Emails and checked blogger to see whats happening. This is mostly what my day is like and trying to get Chanel to talk to me again. why am i trying so hard to get her to talk to me again. see this is the thing most of my memories are of Chanel  and a little memory of Maddy and other friends but mostly Chanel. i ask myself why. why am i thinking only about her why do i need to try so hard to talk to her and to get her to notes me and stuff. why is she so important i know shes like a sister to me that's true. i started to have dreams about her a year after we moved to Raymond now the dreams are more freq went now not every month more like every few month's. maybe it will freak her out to know that i dream about her it probably would. it would probably make her uncomfortable to hear that. but probably people who red my blogs probably ask themselves is he in love with her or something and the thing is i don't really know it thought kinda scars me. the whole what if doesn't love me back what if are friendship gets totally destroyed because of it  what she hates me oh I'm so confused. i honestly love her to much to not let are friendship go but i need to think on the other love part because i still don't know. the only thing i hop won't happen is that this blog won't scare chanel off for good thats all